What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 30.06.2025 00:16

What are some funny and smart quotes?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

US oil output set for first annual drop since pandemic - Financial Times

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Margaret Cho says Ellen DeGeneres was 'not nice' to her for most of her career: 'It's so creepy and weird' - Entertainment Weekly

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Who Held or Bought the Huge US Government Debt even as the Fed Shed Treasury Securities in Q1? An Iffy Situation - Wolf Street

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”